One for the Money
Janet Evanovich
Penguin Books Ltd, 1996http://www.evanovich.com
Battle of the Bounty Hunters
Dog is my favourite bounty hunter even though no cars blow up like they do in Plum. Dog always says "Jesus led me to your hiding spot under a heap of moldy sacks in that abandoned sugar refinery. You've got to get your life straight so you can raise your son. I know. I was in jail in Texas for MURDER. Now I've got twelve children." He is so entertaining they gave him his own TV show.
As One for the Money opens, Stephanie Plum has lost her lingerie job. She's divorced, broke, and old (over 20's). But has she ever been convicted of MURDER and sentenced to a Texas penitentiary? NO. Dog has a better back story.
Trenton New Jersey is OK, but no one can prefer its rundown apartment blocks and hostile bars to lush, tropical Hawaii. Sure, the heroine of Janet Evanovich's novel is feisty. Stephanie Plum has got attitude and handcuffs. But so does Dog's wife. Mrs. Dog would whip Plum's pudding.
Too right! Bounty hunters are dang worthless without zany sidekicks. Dog has one dozen tattooed children who help him flush bail jumpers out from under vans parked down on the beach. How cool is that! Plum's spandex-wearing granny can't compare. When Mom invites that nice young man from the appliances store over for dinner Plum does not get excited. Me neither.
In the yucky mushy romance stuff department Plum does come out on top. Using an incident with a duck to blackmail her sleazy cousin into giving her a mad deadly bounty hunter job, Stephanie is straight away assigned to track down hunky ex-boyfriend ex-cop Joe Morelli. Dog is married. He never swoons when describing some guy's ass.
It was funny when Plum ran Morelli over with a Buick I admit. And when Morelli threw Plum's keys in a dumpster and everyone for two chapters afterward kept choking, "what's that smell." Dog is too tough to crack jokes. He would quickly agree that One for the Money is as hilarious as Colin Bateman's Divorcing Jack, then have some dangerous crackhead collared before we got of our sorry backsides and stopped giggling.
Dog's TV show. IT ROCKS. I watch it on Bravo.
If there was a fight between One for the Money's real villain (Morelli is on the lam to find the mystery witness and clear his own name) and Dog, my stack of Benjamins would be on the bounty hunter. Sure, the baddie is a dumber, meaner Mike Tyson. Dog dresses like a Professional Wrestler. A wrestler would whip a boxing man, anyday. Besides Benito Ramierez wacks off.
Plum is clever, funny and pretty. I can see why everyone likes her. With all her jokes about boobs and metamucil, I didn't mind the cliché of an elaborate gunpoint confession at the end. A not-cliché bad guy would have just shot dead a real bounty hunter like Dog without tying up the loose plot ends.
YES! The winner is Dog. Dog, you rock!!!! Dog remains my all-time favourite, but Stephanie Plum is the best fictional bounty hunter.
Critical Mick can see why Janet Evanovich has become so popular.
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