Critical Mick

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Reviews by the Clown that All Other Critics Want to Strangle with a Black Turtleneck

Proving There Are No Limits

The Last Place author Laura Lippman sets Critical Mick straight on the real advantage of not having a day job, on identity theft, on why she writes (kick ass!) crime fiction, and what it is NOT a normal smell for Baltimore. A Critical Mick unruly email interview, January 2008.

Critical Mick: Are you, like your series PI character Tess Monaghan, allergic to crab? Do your hands get all puffy and stuff just from touching stuff 'em? If so, that must suck. Maryland is positively crawling.

Critical Mick's review of Laura Lippman's The Last Place

Laura Lippman: No, I eat shellfish all the time. In fact, given that I live vicariously through Tess's appetite, I sometimes find myself giving her, say, a fried oyster sandwich, only to revise that later. I just thought it was hilarious to have this Baltimore native, who is so emblematic of her hometown in so many ways, be allergic to one of its most famous foods. CM: What Lawrence Block does for New York, you do for Baltimore. (DAMN.) LL: No higher praise than that. But Baltimore needs it more. It was just called "unviable" on a major U.S. website. Unviable! You would think it was some wasted planet in a science fiction novel, where one couldn't breathe the air. And, in face, someone then responded that he visited several years ago and it "smelled like poo" and "some people" said that was normal. Please, let me set the record straight. It is not normal for Baltimore to smell like shit. CM: You mentioned in an interview that The Last Place (like all your Tess Monaghan novels) has its origins in real-life events. Was there an identity theft item that you came across while working as a journalist?

LL: So, I have this really terrible memory. And, right now, I can't quite place my inspiration. I think it had more to do with a series of domestic abuse cases, although not by a serial abuser.

LL: But, yes, I was a little ahead of the curve on identity theft, and that's in part because of a former colleague, Mike James (now at USA Today), who was way ahead of most journalists when it came to what was on computers and how to find it. The Baltimore Sun was so late to the Internet age that we had to use a communal kiosk to do web-assisted reporting, so a small group of us would sit there, chatting, waiting for the incredibly slow downloads, and I learned a lot from Mike.

CM: Fair play for alerting the good readership to the dangers of identity theft years ahead of the mainstream media. I understand that someone even nabbed the name "Laura Lippman" to write a paper on What Do Children Need to Flourish?: Conceptualizing and Measuring Indicators of Positive Development.

LL: I think she has me beat. There are three of us, including one who writes study guides for Shakespeare. I'm actually pretty envious of the one who writes about kids and poverty and education.

CM: What's your mother's maiden name (MMN)?

LL: [withdrawn by webmaster]

CM: Where were you born?

LL: [withdrawn by webmaster]

CM: What was your first pet's name?

LL: [withdrawn by webmaster]

CM: Your credit card number is 5011-0098-7845-1544. For verification, can you please read me the CVV number off the back of the card?

LL: Sure, just as soon as I finish an e-mail to this lovely Nigerian man, who says I have a huge cash award waiting for me.

Editorial Note: Joking aside, if you ever do get a call asking you your CVV, it's a scam. Hang up. And don't give any old body the answers to common verification questions... there are very bad people out there who have no hesitation impersonating anyone whose particulars they can get their hands on. (Thank God most such crooks are stupid, unimaginative punks who are butt-easy to catch, once they max out those credit cards….)

CM: Any particular identity theft advice, warnings or horror stories that you'd like to pass on?

LL: I visited South Africa this fall and my husband's credit card was cloned – all the information was copied down, then a counterfeit card was made. We were told later never to let someone take your credit card out of your sight. About the same time, my brother-in-law visited South Africa and someone got his ATM code and account number and withdrew money from his account.

LL: And the thing that I found amusing about this is that every South African who heard the story said: "Those Nigerians!"

CM: Like Harlan, you have established a successful series but seem to be preferring the stand-alones in recent years. Why so?

LL: Well, I'm a little different. I've been going one-on, one-off since 2003. It works for me, as a writer, it works for my publisher, it works for most of my readers. (There are some who want only Tess and even a few who want nothing to do with Tess.) It's like working on your abdominal and back muscles at the same time. You need both.

CM: Irish-born crime writer John Connolly is in the same boat with you two--- have you become familiar with his shtuff while pulling at the oars?

LL: I'm a huge fan and was even before I knew John personally. (Once you meet him, it's all over. I think he puts something in people's drinks, because everywhere I go, people love him. I mean, they are starry-eyed over him; I spend most of my time on tour hearing how fabulous John is. He has the best manners of any touring writer. It helps that the books are terrific as well.)

CM: To segue neatly into rowing…. Tess rows, and it's been reported that you once ran five miles while listening to Broadway musicals. Are you the Sporty Spice of the crime fic world? (If so, who's the Ginger Spice? She was always my fave.)

LL: I still run to musicals. I have a Hairspray playlist that I use for interval training. I don't brag about much, but the actor Gbenga Akinnagbe, who plays the murderous Chris Partlow on The Wire, recently had cause to pat me gently on the tricep and he said in amazement: "Wow, you work out, don't you?"

CM: For five years you covered social issues and poverty for the Baltimore Sun. Are there causes near and dear to the old heart? Issues you'd like to raise awareness of and promote? (Fitness, literacy, domestic violence-?)

LL: Extremely dear. I volunteer weekly at a soup kitchen and make charitable donations to Baltimore's Health Care for the Homeless. I'm even toying with an idea for how to get men and women in Baltimore's poorest neighborhood to use the local farmer's market, but part of the problem is that cooking skills aren't being passed along in some households. Remember the old Coca-Cola jingle, "I'd like to teach the world to sing . . .?" I'd like to teach the world how to roast kale and make squash soup and roasted vegetable sandwiches.

LL: Not that I'm a vegan or even vegetarian. Last fall, I brought home rabbit from the farmer's market, only to discover that it was, well, a skinned headless rabbit that still needed to be prepped for the stew that I wanted to make. So I got a local chef-friend on the phone to give me a few pointers, then cut it up while watching Hellraiser. It just felt right.

Editorial Note: Knock an eye out in 2008 for the remake of Hellraiser.

CM: Was there a fear before letting the nine-to-fiver with its steady income go?

LL: Oh yeah.

CM: Was there fear after, or have you never looked back?

LL: There's fear every day. A lot of people don't believe that, but I actually have a counter in my head, in which I calculate how close I am to being able to access my retirement income (to which I contribute the max every year.) In the U.S., you have to be 59.5 to touch those funds without penalty, so I'm a little over 10.5 years away. (It would be really nice right now if someone wanted to say how young I look for my age.)

Editorial Note: Laura Lippman looks REALLY, REALLY young for her age.

LL: I'm relatively confident that I'll get a new contract this year, as I'm writing the final book on my current contract. After that? God, who knows?

CM: What's your opinion on the new technologies like Internet communities, podcasting, blogging, webzines, Printing on Demand?

LL: Yes, yes, yes with certain conditions, sure, great technology that's often used for evil purposes.

CM: Do you read self-published books or stick to the mainstream?

LL: Well as some of the non-traditionally published would tell you – usually in all caps, often with several grammatical errors – POE WAS SELF-PUBLISHED!!!!! AND DICKENS! AND SHAKESPEARE!

LL: Seriously, as I said above, POD is a great technology that's being used to rip a lot of people off. It's really disgraceful what some of these companies are doing. And there are always going to be a few wily, smart writers who use it well – M.J. Rose and Brian Wiprud come to mind. And some books (usually not fiction) work well in the format.

LL: I'll address myself to one mind-boggling argument made by some members of the self-published community – "traditionally published" writers are scared that self-publishing will level the playing field. Look, I would love for self-publishing to be economically viable because that would strengthen every writer's leverage when negotiating with traditional publishers. But has anyone noticed that the biggest names in publishing – Stephen King, John Grisham, the always entrepeurial James Patterson, Nora Roberts – seem happy letting someone else do their distribution and marketing?

CM: OK, give us the inside skinny in The Wire.

LL: Did I mention that Gbenga Akinnagbe touched my arm?

CM: In the spirit of your "Mrs. Peel on The Avengers or 99 on Get Smart?" line of questioning….. MS Word or Mac?

CM: Film?

LL: I loved Sweeney Todd (go figure) but my hunch is that my "Damn!" is going to go to No Country for Old Men or There Will Be Blood.

CM: Album?

LL: I recently downloaded a bunch of tunes just because Peter Robinson cited them at the New York Times book blog, Paper Cuts. I have so much respect for Peter's taste in music that I didn't even list to them first, and they're all winners, but I especially love Richard Hawley's Coles Corner.

LL: I also feel honor bound to order an album I heard about on National Public Radio, by The Shondes, a vegan all-female punk band that sings in Yiddish. It's called Red Sea.

CM: What's the saddest thing you've ever heard?

LL: A six-year-old boy bursting into tears and saying, "When you're scared, you need both parents."

CM: Did you write about it?

LL: That's as close as I'll ever come. No names, no context. Does it need any?

CM: When's the last time you felt pissed off?

LL: Yesterday.

CM: Did you write about it?

LL: Give me time. (It was a strange man, doing that strange thing men do, where they're so instantly in charge of you, giving you instructions, and I was chanting inside my head SHUTUP SHUT UP SHUT UP and trying to make sure that my wedding ring was visible.)

CM: What's the worst you've ever been hurt?

LL: I'll take physical pain for one hundred, Alex, and say it was the time I fell off my bike and landed on my face, slicing open my lip and cracking three teeth.

CM: Did you write about it?

LL: I don't think so. But I know I gave at least one character my other dental problems, which included grinding my teeth until the molars cracked.

CM: I understand you've been doing some teaching this past year. Has that given you any new views and angles on the craft?

LL: Trying to figure out why something works (or doesn't) always illuminates my own struggles.

CM: Have we read any of the same shtuff? (Critical Mick Full alphabetic index) Was my review way off about them?

LL: I feel so ill-read! But I think you nailed The Corrections.

CM: What project are you working on now?

LL: Novel #14.

CM: What project must you complete as your life's work?

LL: I could be a lot nicer.

CM: You made a contribution to the Dublin Noir anthology that Ken Bruin edited, and then went and edited your own Baltimore Noir. How did that come about?

LL: Ken asked me. That's how most of my short stories came about: Someone said, "There's this anthology and the hook is (Dublin, cocaine, golf, jazz). Can you write something?" And I say, I'll see, and I usually do.

CM: Go on, plug the other anthology that's coming out later on this year!

LL: Hardly Knew Her. Previously published stories AND fresh ones.

CM: And the other forthcoming shtuff…..

LL: Another Thing to Fall, the 10th Tess Monaghan novel, to be published in the U.S. in March. Tess takes on television.

CM: We have nice beers here in Dublin. Any chance that Tess Monaghan will roadtrip to Ireland one day? (Hell, she's been to Texas!)

LL: I would love it. What county do you think the Monaghans hail from? That is, where would I most like to spend the summer?

CM: What's on your nightstand at the moment? (books, I mean, but other items if you wanna….)

LL: Technically, the only thing on my nightstand is a clock-radio because my nightstand is a beautiful stack of slender art books, bound in various shades of Moroccan leather. I needed a new nightstand, and I found this set at a used bookstore in my neighborhood and it was about the same as buying a piece of furniture.

LL: My TBR list, however, includes The Bright Edge of Disaster, which reminds me of early Larry McMurtry (strong heroine, Houston setting); One Drop, a memoir; and Heartburn, by Nora Ephron. My memory is that the last book got overwhelmed by its autobiographical nature, but it's an incredibly well-structured novel. It's also funny and has several great recipes.

LL: Oh, and I just started the Bill Bryson on Australia.

CM: Elvis Presley: alive or dead?

LL: Dead, but he lives forever in the hearts of some Baltimoreans.

CM: Nora Roberts: real or imaginary? (I think she's made up. No human can continuously churn out two bestsellers in the time it takes me to complete a single lousy-ass review!!!)

LL: I've met her and she's quite real and incredibly nice, just endowed with a prodigious talent for storytelling.

CM: Speaking of talents for storytelling... for the fresh ground covered, engaging characters, interesting baddie and snappy dialogue, The Last Place is hearby awarded The Best Book Critical Mick Read in 2007 title. Congratulations, Laura Lippman!

More information on Laura, her stand-alone novels and her Tess Monaghan series can be found on www.lauralippman.com.

Yo! This interview transcript and all content on the DFA Guide site are copyright 2008 Mick Halpin. All links to other sites and documents are copyright to whatever source wrote something cool enough for Mick to give it a referral. Try to claim them as your own work and bad karma will catch up with you, baby. Believe it.

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This Page Was Last Updated On 24 January, 2008.